Aren’t you surprised to see a new post? Haha, I know I sure am. I just wanted to take time to sit down and update my lovely readers on what I’ve been up to this summer so far!
For exciting news, my boyfriend left for the United States Coast Guard Academy last week. I miss him but I love him so much and I’m super proud of him ❤ Since he can’t use social media, the computer, or his cell phone for a while, I’ve been writing him every single day just like Noah did in The Notebook, haha. I take time at the end of the each day to write him a letter so he knows what’s going on in the outside non-military world. My schedule has been so busy and my life has been hectic haha! I’m back at college for the summer as a Summer Orientation Leader! Fun fun times! Because I live in a city with an insane amount of runners and I go to a school with a bunch of gorgeously fit men and women, the positive peer pressure to hit the gym has been high! It’s super cool because I actually have legitimate time to spend at the gym and enjoy it! In addition to all the insane amounts of walking around Grounds I’ve had to do, I’ve started off my running to the gym, which is about a 0.8 mi run. Then I have been doing weight training for my inner and outer thighs as well as my biceps and triceps. I’ve also played competitive basketball games with the other OLs, which have been super fun!
Besides I’ve been slacking on doing cardio, so my weight has been going up a little because I have been gaining muscle but not losing fat. Thus! I reached a solution last night! I started Insanity Workout back up last night, for my third or fourth attempt. This time I’m legit.
To jump start my weight loss, I thought it would be best to buy nutritious and delicious foods! I went grocery shopping yesterday and bought some Tyson’s frozen grilled chicken, some broccoli, brown and wild rice, organic strawberries and red grapes, watermelon, and peanuts. Woohoo for healthy eating! I’m so ready to melt these pounds off and finally give myself the chance to have the body that I deserve. I know it’s not going to be easy and there are going to be some days that “I don’t feel like it,” but like every lifestyle change, it takes some adjusting at first. Okay, now I’m off to do the Plyometric Cardio Circuit workout from Insanity!
Now, you! Get off the computer and drop and give me 50! (:
So I’m sitting here thinking about how I have been subconsciously affected by media representations of the female body. I, a curvy 5’0″ young woman with an athletic build, look far from what the media chooses to represent to the masses as the “ideal figure.” A few days ago, I stumbled upon a show called Curvy Girls on nuvoTV and I was absolutely inspired. So much that I am still thinking about it today. The purpose of the TV show is to show the public that the fashion industry is more than just a place for stick-thin girls who have unhealthily low self-esteem. Another purpose of the show is to eradicate the barriers between the reality of what full-figure modeling and what people think it is. Another is to show the perspectives of women of color (mainly Black and Latina) in the fashion industry.
From the show, I realized that my notions of what it was were incorrect. I learned that plus-sized models still have to exercise, eat healthy foods, and maintain a certain body image in order to find work. I was completely shocked to find that smaller plus-sized models are discriminated against in the full-figure fashion industry, and it changed my self-image for the better. I realized that there will always be people who are going to love you for your unique physical attributes and people who are going to loathe them. Either way, it doesn’t matter because it should have no bearing on how you see yourself. I used to gauge my level happiness on how many compliments I received on my outfit, how many stares I got from men, or how many compliments I got from my peers. Now, none of those things can even measure to the approval that I receive from God when He tells me how proud he is of me that I can finally be content with the way that he created me. There is no one on this planet that looks like me, and that is something that I now realize that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
I never thought that I would show this picture to a large number of people because I have been ashamed to look at it for the past couple of years since it was taken. I was ashamed of my curves, ashamed of my flab, ashamed of my imperfections.
I can now say that for the first time in my life, I am making peace with my body. I understand that I should never strive to achieve the “perfect” body. Why? Because it doesn’t exist. Rather than focusing on how I can lose weight or how to reach a certain number in a certain number of weeks/months, I should put my energy into eating right and presenting myself in a flattering and positive manner. There is no monolithic concept of perfection. As women, we should all come to the realization that we are the way that we are because that was God’s plan for our lives. All you can do is be your best self, not strive to be the curviest or the thinnest or wear the smallest clothing size.